When I saw the headline, How to Have Feminist Sex, I rolled my eyes. It’s taken straight from an article on Vice. (Link below)
So, NOW there’s a way to have feminist sex huh? People take things too far I thought.
But in the interest of seeing what the hell was said (and honestly, out of respect for Vice as an outlet) I clicked through.
I see the reason for the article.
There’s a lot confusing about sex, we don’t talk about it very much, and it can be riddled with many of the contradictions we struggle with while our clothes are on.
Spoiler: It’s whatever you want it to be, and you don’t have to feel bad about any of it as long as it’s consensual for everyone. Consensual for everyone, equal for everyone….I’m beginning to see a theme.
Unraveling and unlearning is tough work, and we all have more to do.
I offer it to you as a read and a seed.
If you’re interested, a book just came out on the topic. Written and illustrated by Flo Perry. It’s called How to Have Feminist Sex: A Fairly Graphic Guide. The Amazon description is…
“We talk about feminism in the workplace and we talk about dating after #MeToo, but women’s own patriarchal conditioning can be the hardest enemy to defeat. When it comes to our sex lives, few of us are free of niggling fears and body image insecurities. Rather than enjoying and exploring our bodies uninhibited, we worry about our bikini lines, bulging tummies and whether we’re doing it ‘right’.
Flo broaches everything from faking it to consent, stress to kink, and how losing your virginity isn’t so different to eating your first chocolate croissant. Her mission is to get more people talking openly about what they do and don’t want from every romantic encounter.”
If you’re interested order here. (and no I’m not an affiliate, I just am trying to make things easy on you)
“It’s really complicated to analyse your beliefs and think: ‘What am I doing because I want to do it? And what am I doing because the patriarchy tells me to?’
If you are faced with a nonconsensual sex situation, click here for resources and info.